Used and Abused

                                                                                Used and Abused.

                Dear reader, writing this article is using a platform to inform a mode of conduct, tell me at the end if I am abusing it.

I grew up to my present late twenties, moving through eight different states in Nigeria and coming in contact with at least nine ethnic groups. This has turned me during the earlier part of my age into a confused being and always put me in situations where I would argue with friends or debate about certain concepts. The fact is, I could win a debate in a particular region, only to travel to another part of the country and question my earlier school of thought. In my apparent age, I’ve come to realize that there are tons of things we have been given freely by nature to use which we have abused entirely in so many ways and that was what I failed to understand as I argued. In this article, I will try to buttress this notion using four aspects of our everyday life as Nigerians.

1.       Money

By nature, there must have to be some form of exchange, give me what I need which you have and can spare, while I give you what I have on the same terms probably. You see, this was the only reason why money had found a place in our lives, but is it now? The question now is, how many things have not been done for the sake of it? I am not going to bore you with the recent happenings which we are all already used to, but the summary is, it has been abused. Its abuse has brought about a diminished regard for the value of humanity, bringing about issues like, murder, kidnap, robbery and a whole lot more.

2.       Tribalism

Culture is a people’s way of life, which makes them one, sharing the same values and norms. If I am right about this, then I would simply admit that having a country with different cultures is like having a well spiced meal. She should shine so beautifully among others, for she would be like a rainbow; different colours separated, but together a wonder to behold. This begs the question, Nigeria, where is our beauty? It’s all been lost for a single reason, we have abused it. Potential marriages have been turned apart for this same reason. The word tribalism has now become synonymous to everything war, bloodshed, segregation and discrimination.

3.       Sex

A predominantly discussed topic, bombarded with concepts of ethics, religion and a host of others. I am a Christian and so my faith does not agree with the terms of sex outside marriage, but then I won’t be blinded to the fact that there are people who have beliefs which disagree with mine and trying to push them into seeing from my perspective would be an abuse of my religion (this would be discussed in details as we go down). Yet again, I believe that our excessive engagement into this act, deforms its value and creates room for abuse. Sex can exist without having rape, but rape comes in because there is no boundary or limit to sex. Maybe the existence of a rule that sex should be between more mature people who have found love in themselves and each duly consent to having each other, can go through with it. Probably that would inform a young mind that there would be time for it, give this mind more time to prepare for it biologically and psychologically and reduce by a good margin, cases of teenage pregnancy, teenage STD contraction, need for indecency and so on.

On the other hand, there is rape. This is an extreme abuse of sex, forcefully or aggressively having sex without the consent of a partner, consequently inflicting injuries physically, mentally or both. Rape activists, remember every fire started small, from letting anybody to have sex, having sex anywhere in public, sex between ages of any kind, provocative style of dressing, down to where we are now. When you step up to a particular strata in anything you do, there must be a satisfactorily level you are bound to meet, everybody’s taste for satisfaction differs and we learn to teach other. So don’t be surprised how we got to bestiality, rampant pornography and rape; we simply allowed a level and people tried to get to their satisfaction on it and with all pleasure teach all those who are willing to lend a listening ear.

4.       Religion

The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods; hilariously described as what people run to when all other options to solve a problem are gone. Well, there are those who belief, there are those who don’t, but that’s not what I wish to talk about, the question is, what respect do we have for each other? That’s my first hit. Do you try to impose your view on others, enforce your ways autocratically, or eliminate every other forms of belief for people to see only yours? That’s an abuse.

Again, what do you teach as a religious leader? A leader of a fellowship is always believed to have a spiritual recognition by the heavenly bodies, this can cause people to follow the words of a leader without consideration as it would attract divine consequences. When you decide to say things which would lead a group of people through the wrong path, you are very much abusing your religion. In so many ways, religion has been abused and this has resulted to killings, misconceptions, segregation and the most annoying one, geometrical increase of religious societies in the country.

Well, I cannot solve the problem of a country neither can I the world, but why is there still ink below this point in this article? There are three basic reasons why these abuses keep rising on a daily basis;

1.       Power

2.       Fame

3.       Exceptionality

A quest for any of these three things by man is hardly unquenchable. Once the fire is lit, it keeps growing the more you fuel it. It is very much natural to seek for these three things as a human being, if not, what difference could we make?  But asides all these three listed above, there is one that stands out quite taller, value of humanity.

Permit me to explain something, values are principles or standards of behavior; one's judgement of what is important in life. Value is what adds respect, difference and quality to human beings. There is a thin line between the following; control and power, recognition and fame, irreplaceable and exceptional. When you value a human life more than your life goal, the former in each comparison would be your approach towards every concept of life. This article is to inspire a better perspective towards our reason for existence, that in the life we are living, the life living it comes first, both yours and the next person’s. We only live once, this is a misunderstood line. We live on after we die, in people’s lives, as a source of people’s inspiration, or otherwise as a source of excuse for people to abuse nature. This is all determined by the sort of life you choose to live, to use nature for good or abuse nature for bad. Religion is not the case here, and so my belief as a Christian does not influence these words.  We have to learn to understand that life is more beautiful when we live for each other and not for ourselves, for we cannot become what we seek without the help of others, directly or indirectly. Forget not the eyes of the young ones while doing anything, the footprints you leave on the ground are best studied by those still on the ground.

It would be inappropriate for me to end this article without bringing to your notice that, when I started understanding things from this view, I found something so interesting, peace. It ended my fights, arguments and debates. Life awaits us to embrace her the way she is, but we keep fighting to love life the way we want. There is a simple rule that guides every aspect of life, live and let live. By this you simply agree to love your friends and even enemies as yourself, you carry the fate of people around you at heart whenever we wish to act. Our world can never be perfect, but it can be at peace, we can find joy in it and we can live life to the fullest. Think of it practically this way;

A driver works for money every day, he has to drive faster to gain more turns. He has the choice of valuing human lives and taking it easy; happiness, or choosing the money and taking away people's families on the road; sadness.

Politics has over the years proven itself baffling and trivial in this case. When you govern well, at least 80% of the masses would love you, you don't need to rig, kill or destroy the country to win votes to be re-elected, your people who has found love in you would simply vote you back. But then we choose money to gain power and lose control.  

So my dear reader, the beauty of life depends on every action you take, every decision you make, and every teaching we give. The abuse of life starts with the abuse of the mind, the thoughts and knowledge. Always bear in mind that little Rita is watching, hopefully from your words, thoughts and actions, she won't be used or even abused.

Thank you for reading😊.